Nilloopkap is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, self-confident eagle.

Nilloopkap created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilloopkap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nilloopkap, it will be very unhappy.

Nilloopkap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Nilloopkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never eat melons.

3. Run away if eight nematodes approach from the west.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Feed all hungry swans.