Jinmiparn Quartrowpantunnartbutbod Nurthatyar is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, two-faced frog.

Jinmiparn Quartrowpantunnartbutbod Nurthatyar created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinmiparn Quartrowpantunnartbutbod Nurthatyar, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jinmiparn Quartrowpantunnartbutbod Nurthatyar, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jinmiparn Quartrowpantunnartbutbod Nurthatyar's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Jinmiparn Quartrowpantunnartbutbod Nurthatyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Never run near tortoises.

3. Jinmiparn Quartrowpantunnartbutbod Nurthatyar loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

4. Jinmiparn Quartrowpantunnartbutbod Nurthatyar loves swans, so they must be respected.

5. Do not skip in public.