Dotvadnel is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, pitiless crocodile.

Dotvadnel created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotvadnel, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dotvadnel, it will turn you into a puffin.

Dotvadnel's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Dotvadnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Hide if six bats approach from the east.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not eat beans.

5. Do not hurt birds.