Volvilfob is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unthoughtful walrus.

Volvilfob created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volvilfob, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Volvilfob, it will ignore you.

Volvilfob's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Volvilfob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat melons.

3. Never sit near manatees.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Volvilfob on top of all buildings.

5. Do not commit murder.