Lapgabkad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unfair ant.

Lapgabkad created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapgabkad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lapgabkad, she will refuse to believe in you.

Lapgabkad's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Lapgabkad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lapgabkad.

3. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. You must love Lapgabkad.