Fungilstip is a god.

It takes the form of a large, omnipotent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fungilstip created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fungilstip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fungilstip, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fungilstip's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fungilstip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Always help sick mites.