Logsadgid Quamstercin Timdavgarnill is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest mongoose.

Logsadgid Quamstercin Timdavgarnill created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Logsadgid Quamstercin Timdavgarnill, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Logsadgid Quamstercin Timdavgarnill, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Logsadgid Quamstercin Timdavgarnill's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Logsadgid Quamstercin Timdavgarnill's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lemons.

2. Never run near nematodes.

3. Logsadgid Quamstercin Timdavgarnill must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

5. Never pour water over plants.