Fodguthim is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, selfish cow.

Fodguthim created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodguthim, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fodguthim, he will try to impress you with trees.

Fodguthim's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Fodguthim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fodguthim first in all things.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Fodguthim loves swans, so they must be honoured.

4. Never wear black rings.

5. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the south.