Gepfaddoss is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, temperamental cow.

Gepfaddoss created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepfaddoss, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gepfaddoss, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Gepfaddoss' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Gepfaddoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Never hurt aardvarks.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must love Gepfaddoss.