Nurlwatgut is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ruthless crab.

Nurlwatgut created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlwatgut, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nurlwatgut, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nurlwatgut's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Nurlwatgut's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nurlwatgut.

3. Worship no other gods but Nurlwatgut.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.