Venmanwig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, egotistical parrot.

Venmanwig created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Venmanwig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Venmanwig, it will send you a sign.

Venmanwig's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Venmanwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan rings.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Always treat snakes with great respect.

4. Never sit in the presence of dogs.

5. Retreat if nine tortoises approach from the west.