Lidjamyok Cimfottar is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ruthless chinchilla.

Lidjamyok Cimfottar created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidjamyok Cimfottar, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lidjamyok Cimfottar, he will remove you from existence.

Lidjamyok Cimfottar's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Lidjamyok Cimfottar's Holy Commandments

1. Lidjamyok Cimfottar loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Always wear white.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.