Dossmatcap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, loving whale.

Dossmatcap created the Virgo Supercluster five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossmatcap, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dossmatcap, it will turn you into a slug.

Dossmatcap's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Dossmatcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. You must pray to Dossmatcap five times a day.

3. Run away if eight squirrels approach from the south.

4. Never skip in the presence of otters.

5. Always help badgers in need.