Hapfosskom is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, able fly.

Hapfosskom created the Small Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Hapfosskom, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hapfosskom, he will turn you into a goat.

Hapfosskom's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Hapfosskom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to goats while wearing indigo hats.

2. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

3. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.