Gofyessyik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, clever ant.

Gofyessyik created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofyessyik, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gofyessyik, she will send minions to preach to you.

Gofyessyik's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gofyessyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.