Cimlipcib is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, boastful chinchilla.

Cimlipcib created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Cimlipcib, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cimlipcib, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cimlipcib's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Cimlipcib's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Cimlipcib must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Ants are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about fire.