Fumvantargdibquattip is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, all-powerful dragon.

Fumvantargdibquattip created light five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumvantargdibquattip, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fumvantargdibquattip, she will turn you into a hamster.

Fumvantargdibquattip's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fumvantargdibquattip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink shorts.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Worship no other gods but Fumvantargdibquattip.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Run away if five voles approach from the south.