Fumhotcit is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful meerkat.

Fumhotcit created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumhotcit, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fumhotcit, it will turn you into a mouse.

Fumhotcit's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fumhotcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.