Jadhadlig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, self-assured crab.

Jadhadlig created energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jadhadlig, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jadhadlig, she will send you a sign.

Jadhadlig's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Jadhadlig's Holy Commandments

1. Jadhadlig loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never hurt birds.