Mutflisdiss is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, happy grasshopper.

Mutflisdiss created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutflisdiss, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Mutflisdiss, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mutflisdiss' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Mutflisdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help grasshopers in need.

5. Do not hurt frogs.