Flatgumtag Yamyimrull is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, pitiless squid.

Flatgumtag Yamyimrull created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Flatgumtag Yamyimrull, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flatgumtag Yamyimrull, he will be very sad.

Flatgumtag Yamyimrull's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Flatgumtag Yamyimrull's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Flatgumtag Yamyimrull on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Run away if five geese approach from the south.