Stighotcepfit is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, all-knowing hippopotamus.

Stighotcepfit created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stighotcepfit, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Stighotcepfit, he will manifest in front of you.

Stighotcepfit's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Stighotcepfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Do not take Stighotcepfit's name in vain.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stighotcepfit.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.