Futfonhim is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, astonishing guinea pig.

Futfonhim created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futfonhim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Futfonhim, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Futfonhim's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Futfonhim's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never think ill of sick ducks.

5. Never paint your hands fawn.