Dudstigrutbum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, temperamental weasel.

Dudstigrutbum created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudstigrutbum, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dudstigrutbum, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Dudstigrutbum's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Dudstigrutbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Do not kill tortoises.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help ants in need.