Negvolcedvenbagjip is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, effective walrus.

Negvolcedvenbagjip created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negvolcedvenbagjip, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Negvolcedvenbagjip, she will jump up and down on your head.

Negvolcedvenbagjip's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Negvolcedvenbagjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of whales.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.