Pitnatgum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing clam.

Pitnatgum created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Pitnatgum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pitnatgum, it will turn you into a slug.

Pitnatgum's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Pitnatgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Run away if eight geese approach from the west.

3. Always help goats.

4. You must never eat lemons.

5. Never feed lentils to tortoises while wearing pink rings.