Lanbepbat Him is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ruthless zebra.

Lanbepbat Him created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanbepbat Him, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lanbepbat Him, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Lanbepbat Him's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Lanbepbat Him's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Lanbepbat Him.

2. Hide from pink gulls for they are unholy.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Never paint your face red.