Tigcitquatfot Tagsislat is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, idiotic hydra.

Tigcitquatfot Tagsislat created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigcitquatfot Tagsislat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tigcitquatfot Tagsislat, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tigcitquatfot Tagsislat's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tigcitquatfot Tagsislat's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt geese.

2. Never eat bread.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Do not eat peanuts.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.