Bemgadyik is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, sage fly.

Bemgadyik created life seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemgadyik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bemgadyik, she will not care at all.

Bemgadyik's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bemgadyik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Respect your elders.