Gilfetpan is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, impressive manatee.

Gilfetpan created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilfetpan, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gilfetpan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Gilfetpan's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gilfetpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gilfetpan's name in vain.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. You must love Gilfetpan.