Gempitstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fussy pigeon.

Gempitstrag created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gempitstrag, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gempitstrag, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gempitstrag's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gempitstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of bats.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never hurt tortoises.

5. Gempitstrag loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.