Fabjamflanrighapzed is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, overgenerous crocodile.

Fabjamflanrighapzed created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fabjamflanrighapzed, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fabjamflanrighapzed, he will turn you into a tree.

Fabjamflanrighapzed's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Fabjamflanrighapzed's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.