Mapmidcum is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, smart wren.

Mapmidcum created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapmidcum, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mapmidcum, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Mapmidcum's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Mapmidcum's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Mapmidcum must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.