Kemvolfarhim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, fast monkey.

Kemvolfarhim created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemvolfarhim, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kemvolfarhim, it will send minions to preach to you.

Kemvolfarhim's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Kemvolfarhim's Holy Commandments

1. Kemvolfarhim loves turtles, so they must be respected.

2. Always treat dogs with great respect.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Retreat if six frogs approach from the south.

5. Always obey Kemvolfarhim's priests.