Dimwonvol is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient meerkat.

Dimwonvol created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dimwonvol, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dimwonvol, she will not care at all.

Dimwonvol's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dimwonvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Always wear turquoise.