Jarnlathon is a god.

She takes the form of a small, charitable newt.

Jarnlathon created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnlathon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jarnlathon, she will throw large rocks at you.

Jarnlathon's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Jarnlathon's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. You must love Jarnlathon.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not eat lemons.