Bassbabkin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, tiresome goose.

Bassbabkin created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bassbabkin, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bassbabkin, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bassbabkin's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bassbabkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Snakes are not to be trusted.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.