Yimcindud is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, dishonest jaguar.

Yimcindud created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimcindud, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yimcindud, it will turn you into a rat.

Yimcindud's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Yimcindud's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Do not speak about cucumbers.

4. Run away if five grasshopers approach from the south.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.