Bomstikfem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, proud lobster.

Bomstikfem created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomstikfem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bomstikfem, she will strike you with lightening.

Bomstikfem's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Bomstikfem's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat tomatoes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bomstikfem.

5. Always help aardvarks in need.