Danquatvan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, slow cobra.

Danquatvan created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Danquatvan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Danquatvan, he will turn you into a mole.

Danquatvan's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Danquatvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help birds.

2. Never mention monkeys.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Hide if four dogs approach from the east.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.