Gupnadcun Loopgatzed is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, strong unicorn.

Gupnadcun Loopgatzed created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gupnadcun Loopgatzed, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gupnadcun Loopgatzed, she will ignore you.

Gupnadcun Loopgatzed's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gupnadcun Loopgatzed's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Gupnadcun Loopgatzed must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.