Sandvenlig is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, almighty swallow.

Sandvenlig created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandvenlig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sandvenlig, she will strike you with lightening.

Sandvenlig's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Sandvenlig's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Great tits are not to be trusted.

3. Never feed spinach to shrews while wearing purple scarves.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Run away if nine tortoises approach from the west.