Cunzigsan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omnipotent faun.

Cunzigsan created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cunzigsan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cunzigsan, it will think nothing of it.

Cunzigsan's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Cunzigsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head turquoise.

2. Always treat manatees with great respect.

3. Never talk about great tits.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.