Gidsasbed is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy spider.

Gidsasbed created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gidsasbed, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gidsasbed, she will boil you in a big pot.

Gidsasbed's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gidsasbed's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six titanium sculptures of Gidsasbed on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed peas to snails while wearing purple corsets.