Fetdagquim is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, temperamental bat.

Fetdagquim created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetdagquim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fetdagquim, he will jump up and down on your head.

Fetdagquim's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Fetdagquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always obey Fetdagquim's priests.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.