Park is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, intelligent dog.

Park created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Park, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Park, it will turn you into a plant.

Park's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Park's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three frogs approach from the north.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Park.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Always look after injured great tits.

5. Do not skip in public.