Narkantun is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, thoughtless spider.

Narkantun created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narkantun, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Narkantun, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Narkantun's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Narkantun's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Narkantun.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Do not chop down trees.