Dinnillhak is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, humorless lion.

Dinnillhak created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinnillhak, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dinnillhak, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dinnillhak's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Dinnillhak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help snails in need.

5. Hide from blue hamsters for they are unholy.