Gadmigdim Cidhadmet is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, contented porpoise.

Gadmigdim Cidhadmet created the universe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadmigdim Cidhadmet, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gadmigdim Cidhadmet, he will turn you into a duck.

Gadmigdim Cidhadmet's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gadmigdim Cidhadmet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine badgers approach from the west.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Gadmigdim Cidhadmet on top of all buildings.

5. Never play with disobedient children.