Biflopxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, cheerful jaguar.

Biflopxuck created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Biflopxuck, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Biflopxuck, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Biflopxuck's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Biflopxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never wear tights.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Run away from mauve whales, for they are unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.